Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer - my own (sad) version
by Lucy Sofer
Summary: Totally bookverse, without anything to do with the two movies. The story written by Robert L. May was just a censored version for kids to the "real" tragic tale, and that's what I actually believe he intended to hint adult readers.


All rights are reserved to Robert L. May.

The sad ending is mine.

 **Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer**

It was the day before Christmas, and all through the hills the reindeer were playing... enjoying the spills of skating and coasting, and climbing the willows... and hop-scotch and leap-frog (protected by pillows) while every so often they'd stop to call names at one little deer not allowed in their games :-

"Ha ha! Look at Rudolph! His nose is a sight!"

"It's red as a beet!"

"Twice as big!"

"Twice as bright!"

While Rudolph just wept. What else could he do? He knew that the things they were saying were true! Where most reindeer's noses are brownish and tiny, poor Rudolph's was red, very large, and quite shiny. In daylight it dazzled, at night it glowed, like the eyes of a cat. And putting dirt on it just made it look muddy (Oh boy was he mad when they nicknamed him "Ruddy").

Although he was lonesome, he always was good... obeying his parents, as good reindeer should. That's why, on this day, Rudolph almost felt playful :- He hoped that from Santa (soon driving his sleigh, full of presents and candy dollies and toys for good little animals, good girls and boys) he'd get just as much... and this is what pleased him, as the happier, handsome reindeer who teased him.

As night, and a fog hid the world like a hood, he went to bed hopeful; he knew he'd been good!

But his hope didn't remain for long. He saw the heavy fog and thought:

"Way way up North Old Santa is packing his sleight for its flight now. This fog will be hard to get through. Without any stars or a moon as a compass, this extra dark night is quite likely to swamp Santa and his eight reindeer. To keep from collisions, they'll have to fly slow. To keep their direction, they'll have to fly low. They'll steer by the street lamps and houses tonight in order to finish before it gets light. Just think how the boys' and girls' faith would be shaken, if Santa and his reindeer didn't reach them before they awaken! Dasher, Dancer, Prancer and Vixen, Comet, Cupid and Donner and Blitzen should be quick with their suppers and get hitched in a hurry! They too will find fog a delay and a worry!"

And as those thoughts floated inside Rudolph's head, he unfortunately got to realize how he's right (as he usually is): the fog was as thick as a soda's white fizz. Just NOT getting LOST will require all Santa's skills... With street signs and numbers more difficult still, he'll tangle in tree-tops again and again, and will barely miss hitting a tri-motored plane. He'll still make good speed with much twisting and turning, as long as the street lamps and house lights will be burning. At each house, first noting the people who live there, Santa'd quickly select the right presents to give there. By midnight, however, the last light will flee. For even big people will then go to bed. Because it might wake them, a match will be denied him (oh my, how Rudolph wished for just one star to guide Santa!). Through dark streets and houses old Santa will fare poorly. He'll eventually pick the presents more slowly less surely.

Rudolph really was worried, for what would Santa do if folks started waking before he was through?

The air was still foggy, the night dark and drear, when the deer saw the red light of his nose near his face, and then... an idea came to his mind!

Poor Rudolph's sad thoughts of distress and delay... the fog and the darkness, and Santa losing the way... the horrible fear that some children might waken before Santa's complete Christmas trip had been taken.

"And I," Rudolph thought, "may yet help Santa save the day. My big shiny nose may yet pave the way for a wonderful triumph! It actually might! Santa needs me to help him tonight... to lead all his deer on the rest of their flight!"

And Rudolph cried. The saddest cry he'd ever had at his life (and he'd cried in the past a lot and very bitterly when the other reindeer shunned him from their games and called him names): he knew what he must do in order to be able to fly. But as he recalled his whole life, he hadn't have any regrets.

"No other deer would miss me here in town, but every other deer would miss Santa's gifts. My place is in the sky aiding Santa through the foggy, not here where everyone hates me because I have such an ugly nose. There above at least my ugliness will be useful!"

A note for his folks he dashed off in a hurry:

"I've gone to help Santa," he wrote. "Do not worry!"

And then Rudolph took a knife and stabbed himself deep in his chest, near the heart. And with his last breath he thought of the relief of not having to suffer the teasing and shunning of the other deer in his town, and of helping little animals, boys and girls to get Christmas presents every year.

It seems Rudolph's idea was a brilliant success, because at the morning every deer in the town, and every boy and girl, awoke with a gift near his or her bed. It seemed Santa's very last stocking was filled to the top, just as the sun was preparing to loop.

The sun woke the reindeer in Rudolph's home town... They found Rudolph's bleeding, still body and near his bed the short message that he'd written down, then gathered outside to mourn him. And were they shocked, astonished, to learn that Rudolph, the ugliest deer of them all (Rudolph the Red-nose, bashful and small, the funny-faced fellow they'd always called names, and practically never allowed in their games), had decided to put an end to his life. And they said:

"He is now to be envied by all, far and near, for no greater honor can come to a deer than riding with Santa and guiding his sleigh. The number-one job on the number-one day!"

Rudolph's memory soon grew at their mind and they remembered more and more clearly how a good and pure and sweet little deer he was. Oh boy, would he be proud if he only knew they all came to his funeral. These bad deer who used to nothing but tease him would now have done anything only to please him, had he come back to life. They felt even sorrier they had been bad when one of them carried the speech some of them wrote that morning together:

"Rudolph, Santa surely never has have a deer quite so brave or so brilliant as you at fighting black fog, and at guiding him through. By you last night's journey was actually bossed. Without you, we're certain, Santa and all his reindeer have been lost. We hope you'll continue to keep them from grief on future dark trips as COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF!"

And the reindeer all remembered how humble Rudolph was while alive, and they knew that had he been able to hear them, he would've just blushed, from his head to his toes, until his whole fur will be as red as his nose!

The crowd first became silent, then went into innumerably many tears and cried out "Our dear Rudolph!" and "We wish we'd hear one more time your voice!"

Now at last Rudolph was considered by his town's other reindeer no more ugly-faced but a hero, but he wasn't alive to enjoy it!

nevertheless, it seemed to some of the grieving reindeer they hear from somewhere a brief and not bright sound, who was a lot like Rudolph's whisper, saying:

"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night."

and THAT'S why...

... it is told that whenever it's foggy and grey, it's Rudolph the Red-nose who guides Santa's sleigh.

Be listening this Christmas! (But don't make a peep... 'cause that late at night, children should be asleep!) The legend tells the very first sound that you'll hear on the roof (provided there's fog) will be Rudolph's small hoof. And soon after that (if you're still as a mouse) you may hear a "swish", as he flies 'round the house, and gives enough light to give Santa view of you and your room. And when they're all through, you may hear them call, as they drive out of sight,

"MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL,

AND TO ALL

A GOOD NIGHT!"


End file.
